


Close Enough

by Limey



Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: Aedyran purity culture, Bathing/Washing, First Time, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Iselmyr being Iselmyr, M/M, Nervousness, Oral Sex, Personal Growth, Porn with Feelings, Post-Canon, Sweet/Hot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:53:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26137669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Limey/pseuds/Limey
Summary: After long weeks on the road, their relationship slowly blooming, Aloth and Edér finally get the opportunity for some private time together.
Relationships: Aloth Corfiser/Edér Teylecg
Comments: 9
Kudos: 37





	Close Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Optional post-canon for [What We Believed](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23531410/chapters/56438239). Set in a handwavey-vague Pillars of Eternity III. I'll be honest: I think these two would probably make do in a bedroll without fuss. But I couldn't resist writing something soft instead.
> 
> I've extrapolated from the Pillars of Eternity Guidebook: Volume One as to Aedyran attitudes towards sex, and conjured the bathing culture myself as artistic license.
> 
> I finished this sometime ago, but frankly, my pandemic brain wasn't in the greatest space to publish this. I'm ready now. :) Enjoy.

Indoors on a warm midsummer evening, the patrons of the inn roared with cheer and laughter. Coins and tankards clinked loudly in the too-hot, too-crowded space.

Indeed, the evening’s entertainer who had drawn such a lively congregation glistened with sweat in the lamplight, even as she continued to cavort elegantly across the stage with a feathered cap in her hand to catch her coin, an impish smile on her face, and very little else holding her modesty together.

Her acrobatic acts were very impressive, Aloth thought, but he suspected that was not why Edér was grinning and applauding beside him as loudly as any of the other patrons. Even Aloth was not so bitter as to deny she was an attractive woman by human standards. She was very likely to Edér’s taste. She moved sensually, with a sense of confidence and purpose with every coin collected and with every man or woman charmed by her.

Nothing like himself, and not for the first time he silently marvelled that he was capable of holding Edér’s interest. He was not flirtatious, forward-spoken, nor possessed of great physical gifts. Certainly not with any skill as a lover or partner. Even after a few months of travelling together in their new arrangement, he still woke up every morning with a small thrill of surprise that he did not have to face the day alone.

Nor his evenings, though perhaps not as much as either of them would like. Aloth had no doubt that in Edér’s past relationships, there was much less hesitance about moving things forward. Fortunately, he could reason with himself against his insecurities in that regard. Those other relationships had sprung from the safety of towns and villages. Intimacy (or, indeed, privacy) was not easily had when you were exploring dangerous wilds, sleeping shifts, and fighting for your life. 

But now...

Aloth cast his eyes around the inn once more, a reflexive triple-check for any danger, but there was none, just the discomfort of crowds. The Watcher was negotiating food, drink, and rooms for their party. Aloth was willing to endure the noise if it meant a hot meal and a soft bed waited at the end of it.

“Hey.” Edér leaned in, obviously catching something in Aloth’s sullen expression. Aloth stiffened, nervous of drawing attention, but no one was paying them any mind. “She was a good dancer.”

Ah. Edér was trying to explain his preoccupation with the woman on stage. Aloth shrugged, and forced a polite smile. “She certainly was.”

Edér huffed, expression fond. Worryingly, he was getting better at reading Aloth’s moods. He leaned in, voice low but clear. “If that were you up there, I’d be clapping harder.”

Aloth turned beet-red, both in mortification at the idea of being the centre of attention, as well as the implications. Edér chuckled and kissed one glowing-hot cheek, then settled back in his seat, a twinkle in his eye for having both delivered a compliment and a tease. Aloth blushed all the harder and looked away. It still knocked him for a loop that Edér both found him attractive, and could be so casually demonstrative about it.

And therein lay Aloth’s determination.

They were due to stay in the city for a number of days. That would mean some good nights’ sleep, with four walls, a roof, privacy, and an actual bed.

Aloth was aware there was no better time for them to become more intimately acquainted. Where his words failed, he wanted to show Edér how he also desired him. Wanted to be away from prying eyes where he felt self-conscious. Wanted to know what it might be like to steal more than quick kisses or an embrace while on the move, clad in armour. What it might be like to touch Edér’s bare skin, to see his face and the surprise and pleasure in his honest blue eyes as he was touched, what it might be like to -

“Aloth.” Edér’s voice was low, soft near his ear. Aloth turned to him again, and he hoped he was not so easy to read right now. “You alright?”

“Yes.” But that would have been his answer even if he wasn’t. To prove it, Aloth let one of his hands drift under the table until it bumped Edér’s knee. Edér’s larger hand settled over his, firm and warm, fingers curving around his with gentle possessiveness. 

They stayed like that in companionable silence until dinner.

***

The Watcher was quick on the uptake as far as party relations were concerned, and when the rooms were assigned out, Aloth and Edér were sharing a twin. Neither of them had the energy to give the implications much thought: the whole party were exhausted from their travels. Now they were full of good home-cooked food, all any of them could think about was settling in and getting some sleep.

The smaller things they had managed while on the road now felt like agony to push through. Unpacking their bags. Smearing balms and replacing bandages on exposed wounds, and noting which herbs they’d need to replenish. Collectively making a messy basket of dirty laundry for the washer-folk to tackle in the morn.

Finally, Aloth was changed into clean underclothes - he longed for a bath, but it would not be tonight - and sighed as he lay back into the soft relief of clean sheets and a not-too-lumpy mattress. He closed his eyes...

“Help me unfasten this?” 

Edér sounded weary. He was capable of removing his own armour if he had to, but Aloth could hear in his voice he was not long off falling asleep wearing the whole thing, and it was easier with the help of another person. He silently acquiesced, not even a little self-conscious. He was too tired for it, and modesty had long been abandoned while on the move.

“Thanks,” Edér mumbled, as the straps began to fall away, and his fingers clumsily tugged at the remainder. “I can do the rest.”

Aloth nodded and returned to bed. He found himself gazing absently across the short gap between the beds as Edér continued to clumsily strip down. It was only about the time the man began removing his breeches Aloth caught himself and rolled over, almost immediately sliding off into sleep.

***

He awoke to the muffled noises of life in the inn. He lay there quietly, taking in the sounds of clattering pans down below and murmured talk, the dull thud of feet on stairs. He was warm, comfortable, luxuriating in the knowledge that he did not have to dismantle a tent.

The thudding footsteps stopped outside his room, and then there was the scrape of a key in the lock. He opened his eyes.

“Mornin’.” 

Aloth said nothing, trying not to stare and failing. Edér stepped in, shirtless, his hair and face damp, a few stray rivulets of water running down his muscled arms and pectorals freely. Evidently, he had availed himself of the inn’s water pump outside for a quick morning wash. Aloth fleetingly wondered how many washer-folk and city guards had been distracted from their duties while Edér had freshened up outside.

“I brought up some fresh drinking water,” Edér continued, oblivious to Aloth’s freely roaming eyes, setting down a steel jug he’d been carrying on the nearby table. “I woke up parched.”

“... Thank you.” Aloth mentally slapped himself to tear his eyes away. Iselmyr tutted at him, but remained otherwise blessedly silent.

“Our favourite Watcher has some sort of invitation with the Thayn and headed out. I’ll be honest, I stopped hearing most of the details after the word ‘breakfast’, cus that’s what’s going on downstairs.” Edér grabbed a semi-clean shirt from his pack and pulled it on. “Comin’?”

“Ah - yes. Give me a few minutes to dress and I’ll join you.”

 _Reckon he’d be less interested in brekfast if ye asked fer help wit **that**_.

He rolled his eyes. Typical Iselmyr. He was inured to her opinions on how he conducted his private life by now. He wouldn’t go so far to say he wanted the experience to be perfect, but he’d like to think he’d look back in a hundred years’ time and remember his first time intimate with another person as a bit more than rushed fumbling before getting down to breakfast. 

He drank a tankard of the cold water Edér had brought up, and used the rest for the room’s washbasin. It wasn’t a bath, but it helped him feel somewhat cleaner. He tugged on a spare tunic, and he was presentable to head downstairs.

Breakfast was as solid as dinner had been, which put everyone in a good mood. The Watcher had effectively left them to their own devices, and soon everyone was splitting up to achieve one thing or another - get a boot re-heeled, replace a broken belt, replenish potions - and to take advantage of the luxury of free time in a town big enough to provide such services.

“I heard it’s a market day today,” Edér said, casually, when they were finally alone at the table. “I got a few things need seein’ to, but could be worth lookin’ at.”

They were getting better at reading each other these days, in part, because neither of them were overly effusive. _I’d really like it if we spent some not-killing-monsters time together_.

Aloth inclined his head. “I also have some errands, but nothing that can’t wait.” _So would I_.

Edér’s face crinkled into one of his relaxed, happiest smiles, and Aloth wanted to kiss him. It would be so easy. He’d done it before, just not when people could see. He could just lean across the table… take Edér’s hand…

He was frustrated by his own inaction. So was Iselmyr.

Affection remained an alien and sometimes terrifying thing to him; he lacked the instinct, or maybe he had simply quashed it after all these years by necessity. Aloth found it so much easier to let himself be vulnerable, to seek contact and connection when they were alone. Fortunately, Edér seemed inclined to be patient with his inability to manage the same in public.

He realised he’d been gazing at Edér, whose smile had turned playful. “Keep holda that thought for me,” he said quietly, with a wink. Aloth’s face coloured. It was worrying how obvious he was becoming to the other man.

“Lead the way,” Aloth said, getting to his feet in a swift change of subject, determined to hold onto his remaining dignity.

***

The town was not as grand as Neketaka, nor as chaotic as Defiance Bay, but it had all the good trappings of civilization, and the marketplace was no exception. There were food-stands with delicacies from all over Eora, hawkers with questionable goods, and the odd gem amongst the junk that had them both bickering how best to allocate the party funds. Street entertainers added noise and bright colours and cheering crowds and laughing children, all against the background din of industry.

It was strange to think life went on, even after the Wheel had fallen, and it was good to not let their quest trouble them for once. They walked in amiable quiet, taking in the sights, enjoying the rare peacefulness.

As the sun hit its height, the traders of fresh goods began winding down. Aloth began to think of the things he needed to do.

“Thank you, for today,” he said, leaning a little into Edér’s side, just enough without being too obvious. “I’d like to get a head start on my list - would you mind, if…?”

Edér shrugged. He didn’t mind at all. “I can come with, if you like.”

Aloth smiled and shook his head, afraid of that very sentiment. “I’m afraid it will be very boring. Analysing components, magical properties… it’s tediously time-consuming.” 

It was harder to slip a poor lie past Edér these days.

Edér looked at him appraisingly. “Alright. Think you’ll be back before sundown? Be nice to see you at dinner.”

Aloth quickly calculated the time he needed. “Yes.”

Edér smiled, and surreptitiously reached out and squeezed his hand for a moment. “Alright, then. Later.”

It sounded like a promise.

It took Aloth a moment to tear his eyes from Edér’s strong back as he walked on, and get his feet moving in the right direction.

***

Edér meanwhile, blew out a sigh of relief as he walked. Aloth clearly wanted some time alone - which didn’t surprise him, the man liked his space - and so he was saved from having to make up some excuse to go off on his own. Especially knowing where he was going. He was trying not to think too hard about it, or he’d be red-faced and stumbling over his own tongue. That was more Aloth’s thing than his.

That said, Aloth was far more confident these days, and since they’d agreed to this courtship of sorts, there were more smiles than frowns on his friend’s face. He talked more, too. He was quick-witted and held his own when they argued, as they often did: they had grown up in two very different worlds and often had very differing views. Crashing together as they did helped smooth their rougher edges, as well as let off some pent-up frustration.

And gods, was there frustration to be had, on both sides. Edér had anticipated he would require patience with a man like Aloth - not just because of his general caution in just about everything, but also knowing his upbringing. He knew it was frowned upon in Aedyr to take the Dyrwoodan spur-of-the-moment approach to coupling. It made Edér wonder whether the Aedyrans would have relaxed their standards if they had suffered under the misfortune of Waidwen’s Legacy.

Regardless, their relationship had been a slow-building thing by sheer necessity. When you were trying to save Eora from its slow destruction, romantic pursuits went on the backburner.

But Edér wasn’t worried. He knew well where they stood.

One evening at camp, there had been a precious few minutes of time alone together. What had started out as a few kisses had turned heated, verging on becoming a very literal roll-in-the-grass scenario. Edér had been surprised Aloth seemed all for it, though he was not about to complain. He’d done worse things in stranger places.

Then Aloth had backed off - albeit with reluctance, which was reassuring - and awkwardly explained himself. Most of it Edér had already guessed: the risk of attack, his discomfort with his own inexperience, the ingrained Aedyran virtuousness, but there was one more reason that he hadn’t accounted for.

“In the dark, in lands surrounded by beasts and bandits, Iselmyr might get the wrong idea about what was happening. I don’t want either of us to have to deal with the potential unpleasantness of that.”

Edér didn’t fancy fighting Iselmyr with his delicate parts exposed, and had agreed.

But Aloth had let something slip in his explanation. Edér didn’t want Aloth to feel so strongly uncomfortable or anxious that Iselmyr would take over. Not that he wasn’t prepared to handle her if need be, but he wanted Aloth to feel safe, to be present the whole time, if that were at all possible. If that meant exhibiting some patience, so be it. He knew their desire was mutual. He also knew at some point they’d end up back in civilization.

And to Hel with it, he was nervous, too. Aloth was different from his past strings of inconstant lovers. He wanted to do better than some clumsy groping in the dark, knowing he was going to be setting the standard. More experienced he might be, but not with men. He lacked confidence that he’d get it right, and he badly wanted to get it right. At least, that’s what he told himself when he felt aflutter thinking about it. It was easier than examining the depths of his fondness for the other man.

Now, they had free time and privacy and Aloth was making eyes at him and not doing a very good job at hiding it, and he had less time to figure it all out than he thought.

He stopped for a smoke from his pipe to fortify himself before heading into the city’s pleasure quarter. It was time to consult some experts.

***

Aloth was thinking along similar lines, and after taking care of his actual errands, he had chosen to consult his old friends: books. Iselmyr was unimpressed. 

_Ye’ll conne whit t’do wit’out them_.

His face glowed when he left the bookstore with his illicit prizes, and regardless of what she thought, he’d hurried back to the inn to get in some reading in private. It was certainly educational, laid out in print. But didn’t really tell him anything he hadn’t already guessed.

 _Ye both be wieldin’ the same kind o’ weapon fer sparrin’, and ye’ve ‘ad plenty years o’ practise wit it. Ye’ll be fine_.

He finally had to concede that maybe she was right.

***

Edér had a discreet talk with their esteemed leader, who understood at once why he and Aloth might want a table to themselves for their evening meal. Some things were best not shared with the rest of the party.

Edér ordered drinks for their table, and Aloth paid the coin for a bath to be drawn in their room for after dinner. He was desperate for one - Edér might have been comfortable stripping down outside at a waterpump, but Aloth was not. He’d made do with the washbasin that morning, but he longed to actually feel clean.

He explained so to Edér, prepared for a ribbing about his Aedyran habits, but Edér merely hummed, looking preoccupied.

Which left Aloth feeling awkward, digging into his pie. He was usually comfortable with companionable quiet, but in this case, he really needed the distraction from his own thoughts.

Iselmyr was exasperated by his fretting and while she meant well and was full of sly suggestions, Aloth was quite sure they were not subjects he was comfortable discussing at a dinner table. He finally told her to let him be, fighting the urge to sigh aloud.

“You both alright?” Edér had finally set his eyes on him, looking over his face shrewdly. 

Aloth wished he had more control of his expression when he and Iselmyr were in disagreement. He shrugged lightly. “Yes.”

“Good. That’s good.” Edér’s expression turned vague and oddly thoughtful again, returning to his pie. Aloth frowned.

“Are you?”

Edér hesitated. “Yeah.” Yet he didn’t raise his fork. After a pause, he sighed, and abandoned all pretense. “You know, I ain’t never had jitters like this before. It’s funny.”

“At least you’re not alone in that.” Aloth tried to sit upright and keep composure, but it was difficult, knowing what Edér was driving at.

“Don’t get me wrong. If this is a bad time…” Edér winced as the words tumbled from his tongue in a nervous rush. If Aloth wanted more time, then he trusted him to say so.

Aloth fought down the heat of embarrassment that emanated from his skin. He wanted to reassure, but saying so aloud… gods, he’d rather face another adra dragon. As quiet as he could manage while still audible, he replied. “The time is perfect.” He picked up his tankard so he could hide his face for a few moments.

Edér’s expression was more relaxed when Aloth set it down again, albeit his face a shade redder. 

“If I didn’t know it would make you uncomfortable, I’d kiss you right now,” he said, honestly.

Aloth half-smiled back at him. He appreciated the sentiment on both accounts: the desire, and the respect for his sensibilities.

“Sorry to make you wait.” His voice wry, the apology could be taken in either meaning.

“Don’t be.”

The tension was eased. Edér told Aloth a story from his boyhood, how he’d made a fool of himself in front of some travellers stopping in Gilded Vale by listening to Woden’s tall tales about city folk and their habits. Aloth relaxed, trying to hold in genuine laughter.

***

The inn had decent-enough wooden tubs available. Aloth had certainly had worse, and after weeks on the road, almost anything would have sufficed. He was glad this inn had the popular Aedyran style private tubs for hire, rather than a communal wash room.

When he and Edér returned to their room, it was in time to catch one of the workers pouring what had to be one of her last two pails into the tub, which had been situated near the fireplace.

“Please may I keep the other? To wash my hair.”

She smiled and nodded, setting down a well-worn but clean woven towel on the nearby stool, along with a small square of soap. She curtseyed and made her exit, shutting the door behind her.

Steam rose from the tub. They were alone.

“Uh…” Edér tried to find his voice, gesturing vaguely at the tub. “Do you… want me to come back later?”

Aloth shook his head. His heart thumped, but he felt very certain about what he was doing. “Stay.”

Edér pushed out one deep breath. “I’ll, uh, lock the door…”

Aloth took the opportunity to take a few deep breaths himself, and check in with Iselmyr one more time.

_You promise to let me have this?_

__

__

_Ay, it took ye long enow! Go get ‘im, stelgaer._

He scowled to cover his embarrassment. Nonetheless, he was reassured. His mind and body certainly felt like his own, with all the jangling nerves to prove it.

 _Focus_.

He headed over to his pack to retrieve his comb, and his one small vice where a bath was concerned: a small bottle of perfumed oil for his hair, imported from Aedyr. The click of the lock was loud, and he straightened up, meeting Edér’s eye.

The other man looked at him, a silent question in the air. Aloth inclined his head slightly, and that answer was enough for Edér to stride the room into his space and kiss him.

Edér’s beard was freshly-trimmed. Aloth could feel the difference when their lips brushed, and again as it scrubbed his jaw when both of them opened the kiss to something deeper. A thrill ran down his spine knowing that neither of them had to hold anything back - or maybe that was Edér’s fingers as his strong hands trailed down to settle firmly at his waist. Heat sizzled just beneath the surface of his skin. 

Aloth had never let himself want like this - too uncontrollable, too dangerous. Yet with Edér holding him steady, answering and accepting the full of heat of him, he had never felt safer.

The hand that wasn’t holding a comb and bottle reached up to card through Edér’s bright blond hair, determined to keep kissing him in ways he hadn’t previously been able. Without shame, without hesitance. As long as he wanted, as much as he wanted.

Edér let out a hungry groan against his mouth, and it seemed like any moment they’d fall onto a bed.

It was tempting, but Aloth was far too practical to want to rush this, to make a mess of it. If he were truly honest with himself, nerves made him almost as shaky as his desire did, and slowly, carefully, he pulled away. Edér looked charmingly hazy, kiss-drunk and confused as to why they had stopped.

“Before we get too carried away... I do actually want that bath,” he explained, a hand still stroking through Edér’s hair.

Edér blinked a few times, the words taking time to filter through the haze. His confusion slowly melted into a smile and an embarrassed chuckle in understanding, loosening his embrace. “I want you to as well.” 

As fun as it would have been if they hadn’t stopped - if he’d just pushed Aloth onto his bed, spread him out naked beneath him and found all the ways to make him shudder and moan - and gods, that was an appealing thought - they had the rare luxury of time. He had to agree with Aloth, he didn’t want this over in one flurry of haste. There would hopefully be other times for that kind of frantic, messy coupling.

 _Another time_. The thought made him dizzy with lust.

He tried to clear his throat, realising his voice had dropped far too low in the space of a single kiss. “Mind if I join you?”

Aloth’s eyebrow lifted, and he hastened to explain, “just… you know, sit n’ talk with you while you’re in the tub?”

“Alright, but seeing me wash a week’s worth of filth off is hardly going to be attractive.” Aloth said warningly.

“I don't know about that - seein’ you naked _and_ wet?” Edér teased.

“Even after I remove all of my wound dressings?”

“Even then.”

Aloth shook his head, but he was smiling. He reached for the hem of his tunic, and faltered. It all suddenly felt… very real, with Edér so close in his space. He felt the threat of panic, and hesitated. He did not want to lose the moment to Iselmyr.

“Let me check on the fire.” Edér understood the pause from one glance of his face. It was easy to walk over to the fireplace and keep his hands busy by stoking it a bit with the poker, giving Aloth that much-needed breathing space to undress - and himself a moment to rein in his own desire.

Aloth was grateful. He made short work of his clothes and folded them neatly. The summer evening was warm enough on his skin, but the bath was nonetheless inviting by the time he stood before it. He stepped into the water, letting out a low hiss as he lowered himself into the tub. The water was hot, just how he liked, but the open cuts on his body sang out with fresh pain. Yet it was a good kind of pain, the heat taking the ache out of well-worked muscles. He sank into the water until fully immersed, and as he adjusted to its temperature, he began to relax.

“Alright?” Edér was still prodding aimlessly at the fire.

“Yes. The fire is fine.”

Edér took the hint and turned around. Aloth was reclined and looked comfortable, as far as one could in the small tub. There was nothing to protect his modesty except Edér was kneeling. All he could see was Aloth’s face, shoulders, arms, and his bent knees from his current vantage.

Aloth smiled at him. “Take a seat, if you wish.” He nodded to the stool.

Edér stood up. It was difficult not to stare, seeing all of Aloth bared before him at once, even if partially distorted by water. When he sat down, he surreptitiously pulled at his shirt. It was sticking to him uncomfortably from his own body heat and the added minutes in front of the fire.

Aloth noticed. “You could take it off.” He said it slowly, uncertain in making this bold suggestion.

Edér smiled back at him and pulled it off at once, gratified at how Aloth’s eyes slid downward with mixed curiosity and admiration, before pulling abruptly upwards.

“It’s alright, look all you want.” Edér leaned back a bit in invitation, and was silently delighted when Aloth took him up on it. It wasn’t like they hadn’t seen each other in various states of undress while travelling, but having permission was something else. Maybe it was a trick of the nearby fire, but Aloth’s eyes seemed to glow as his gaze roved over his torso with intrigue. He could see the moment where academic interest in his body tipped over fully into desire, Aloth’s eyes turning half-lidded.

“See anything you like?” He teased, voice low and fond.

“Plenty,” Aloth replied, lips ticking up into a wry smile. “And yet, not enough.” But before Edér could parse the meaning of that, he quickly added, “please could you pass the soap?”

Edér had removed it from the stool along with the towel when he had sat down. He handed it over, and watched Aloth gaze at the small piece critically, sizing up how much use he could get out of it.

“I hope they give _you_ a bigger piece than this,” Aloth remarked with annoyance, working up a lather between his hands.

Edér chuckled, enjoying watching Aloth apply the lather first to his arms. He couldn’t pin down what it was he found so attractive in particular. He had an elf’s slender frame, but the form was decidedly masculine, the muscles subtly defined. His normally pale skin had turned a rosy-pink from the heat of the water, highlighting old scars. Edér found he wanted to touch each and every one, as if he could heal them with his fingertips. 

Or tongue. Gods, he wanted to touch him, badly.

Especially as Aloth worked his way down his body with the soap, casual and comfortable, a clear ritual to it. He wasn’t doing it to tease, but he might as well have been.

Finally feeling clean, Aloth sat up straight in the tub, and unfastened the bands that kept his hair back, setting them down on the floor. He felt strangely shy - no one ever saw him with his hair down, and it was somehow far more intimate than being naked. He turned towards the water pail, glad to have an excuse to avoid looking at Edér while he found his equilibrium again.

With practised ease, he poured the half of the remaining water to wet his hair, shaking the spill out of his eyes, and then groped for the little bottle nearby. It was a soothing ritual, one of the many that helped calm him as he pushed his oiled fingers through his hair, following up with the comb to brush away any dirt or knots.

He realised how quiet it was, and hoped Edér wasn’t too bored. It was time-consuming to wash his hair like this, but it was well worth the bother. It made it much easier to groom into his bands and keep it out of harm’s way.

“This always takes the longest to do; I apologise,” he found himself saying.

“Take your time.” His stomach flipped at how low and rough Edér’s voice sounded. He looked up and turned to face him.

Edér’s blue eyes were bright, his fingers caught in the fabric of his breeches. Perched atop the small stool, it was obvious how turned-on he was. Aloth couldn’t help but take in the shape and size where the fabric of his breeches pulled tight, leaving a distinctive and impressive outline.

Edér didn’t think he could get any harder, but having Aloth looking over him in his state of arousal sent a fresh surge of blood southward anyway.

“Aloth…?”

Aloth blinked himself out of his daze. For once, he didn’t feel ashamed for looking. Edér wanted him, and was waiting, patiently, for him to finish. There were no words for the feelings that welled in him. Aloth found his own patience breaking under the strain.

He collected himself enough to set down his comb, and hurriedly rinse out his hair with the remainder of the bucket. Normally, he would be focussed on the ritual of it, now, he barely cared, heart pounding as every action took him closer to where he wanted to be.

He pushed the water from his eyes. He twisted his hair in his hands to wring out the excess.

He looked up. 

Edér’s eyes were trying - and failing - to fix on his face, and he felt a surge of empathy. He had spent so much time doing much the same, keeping polite distance and denial. No more.

He shifted carefully to kneel up in the water so he could face Edér fully.

“Edér.” The sound of his own voice shocked him. But it was an answer, and a request. While not intentional, it was all the more effective delivered upward with solemn intent from under wet eyelashes.

Edér groaned and dropped to his knees beside the tub, leaning in to kiss him. Wet arms wrapped around his bare back as Aloth kissed back. The kiss was all fire, desperate and licking, deepened in an instant to explore the other hungrily, hands roaming what was available to them.

Edér had the advantage of height and experience both, both hands greedily sculpting the shape of Aloth’s body, helped along by the frictionless water. Occasionally his hands jumped when Aloth’s questing fingertips found somewhere sensitive - that little spot on the side of his neck, in particular, made him shiver. He felt Aloth hesitate in their kiss, and he knew in his gut Aloth was taking mental note of his reactions, ever the scholar. He wanted Aloth to stop thinking altogether. 

He let his hands slide upward from the elf’s slim hips, firm and sure, over the ripple of his stomach and smooth planes of his chest. He’d never been shy of fighting dirty, letting his roughened fingertips roll over both nipples at once.

It was a guess that he’d be sensitive, but he called it right: the man shuddered in his arms, and he repeated the motion. Aloth broke their kiss to gasp for air.

“Good?” Edér checked, and Aloth nodded, breathless, and so Edér did it once more for the delight of being able to watch Aloth’s eyebrows knit upward in pleasure while doing so. It made him wonder where all the other sensitive places were on his body, and how long it would take to map them all out.

“Edér, please.” Aloth’s voice had turned pleading, and Edér honestly didn’t blame him: the man was sixty-three years old and whatever anyone said about elf years, that was too damn long for the man to not have shared pleasure with someone. Edér was determined to make sure he had fond memories of the experience long after the fact.

“Here, stand up for me.” Edér coaxed him upward from where he was until they were both standing, and he had Aloth before him, nude, flush, dripping wet all over and panting, cock jutting out and curved slightly towards his hip. Edér drank in the sight of him. He didn’t know what he liked seeing best, whether it was his face, flushed and hungry with his lips parted; his chest heaving, nipples pointed and proud where he’d just been playing with them; or seeing him hard for him, the water making his erect cock seem to glisten against the firelight.

He was damn lucky, he thought, no one else had ever seen Aloth like this, and he was unable to tear his eyes off of him as he groped blindly behind him for the little stool. He dragged it close and sat back onto it.

He saw Aloth’s little wrinkle of confusion in his brow, and then Edér’s broad hands held onto his hips. His mouth fell open. “Edér…?”

“Mm. Wanna try somethin’.” He’d never done this, but no time like the present to start learning how. Arousal had pretty much incinerated any of his remaining trepidation. More than anything, Edér was now intrigued as to what that cock was going to feel like in his mouth, and he wasn’t going to wait to find out.

“Edér!” Aloth’s legs felt like they might buckle beneath him as the heat of Edér’s mouth engulfed him. Edér’s hands were firm, and kept him held steady and upright while he tried to adjust to the new sensation. It was nothing like using his hand, from the hot, slick wetness to the occasional scratch of Edér’s beard against his skin. He shuddered intensely, hips kicking forward, and Edér pulled back with a cough. He was mortified at his loss of control. “Sorry, I - I couldn’t help - ”

“S’fine, wasn’t ready for it,” Edér said shortly, still looking determined, and after scrubbing one hand over his jaw, let his lips fit back over the tip and pushed against him, taking him more slowly this time. He returned his hand to Aloth’s hip, further back this time, fingers digging in a little to the firm flesh.

Turned out, that neat trick of near swallowing the damn thing whole was more difficult than it looked, Edér having a sudden new appreciation for some past flings of his. Well, practise would make perfect, but for now, he employed his dominant hand to enclose what his mouth couldn’t, letting his other arm wrap tight around Aloth’s slim waist to hold him still.

Aloth quivered. He’d heard things - whispers in the academy, crude jokes in taverns - but he’d had no idea it could feel like this, could make him feel like this. The Aedyran in him demanded he should feel shame at the indecency of the act, but the only thing that succeeded in doing was wind his desire even tighter that Edér would do such a thing for him.

His hips trembled with the urge to thrust into the hot channel that Edér was creating with his lips and tongue, but he fought it, not wanting to choke him again. His fingers clenched and unclenched, wanting to anchor himself to something, but his arms felt limp and useless. His whole body was immobilised by the raw pleasure he was experiencing, save for the impulses he had no control over. His voice betrayed him with gasps, his body with shivers, tears pin-pricked the corner of his eyes. He felt helpless, and that should have been terrifying, yet he felt utterly safe in Edér’s arms.

The fear briefly surfaced that this was selfish and one-sided, and was immediately banished when he felt Edér moan around him, like he was getting something out of this. Was that possible? Supposed to happen? Aloth didn’t know. He had no basis for comparison.

“Gods, Edér…” he had been staring at nothing, too overwhelmed, but finally he let his gaze drift down. He almost wished he hadn’t: seeing Edér’s mouth fastened around him, dedicated to his pleasure suddenly made it all feel like too much. He bit his lip, struggling to maintain self-control, to not let the most embarrassing of sounds escape him, but he failed, his desperate whimper loud to his ears. Edér’s bright eyes flicked upwards and met his. They held his gaze, utterly shameless. Aloth couldn’t look away, fascinated, caught by the intimacy of the connection, and the primal part of his mind enjoying seeing Edér struggle determinedly to take him deeper.

The world narrowed in sharply, taking his breath away in short staccato bursts. “Edér - I - I’m -”

Edér could feel the tension quivering in Aloth’s frame; he already knew. He kept up his steady pace, and though his jaw was getting tired, he knew it wouldn’t take long. He squeezed the flesh he had captured in his palm in lieu of words, and tried to remember what he’d heard about this from being on the other side. _Don’t breathe it in, don’t breathe it in_ …

Aloth let out a garbled cry and shuddered hard in his hands, and suddenly, his mouth was full and oh, gods, there was _more_ , and Edér swallowed before he made a real mess of himself. He made a bit of a face, but frankly, he’d tasted worse things that hadn’t included the knowing satisfaction of pleasing a lover.

He pulled off slowly, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. He was about to ask for feedback, feeling smug and sure and wanting to hear it anyway, but stopped short when he saw Aloth’s legs were shaking. He grabbed the nearby towel, stood up and wrapped it around him, and let Aloth lean heavily into his chest.

“Easy, easy there…” He held him close, feeling the man still trembling. He could hear his breath come out short and sharp. Concerned, he made a split decision, and it wasn’t difficult to lift him up out of the tub entirely into a bridal carry and lay him down on top of one of the beds. “You alright? Aloth?”

Aloth nodded, too full of emotion to speak. After a lifetime of forbidding himself to lose control, he hadn’t expected how it would feel to cede it entirely to another person. It was wonderful. It was terrifying. Aloth had never allowed himself to feel that way, utterly vulnerable. The release was more than merely physical. He had let go, entirely; it was only afterwards he had realised what a terrifying thing he had just done.

“I think ye addled his brainbox.” Aloth deferred to Iselmyr to take care of things while he dealt with his panic. Her voice was cheerful, if breathless. “Didnae conne whit tae do wit’ all that good-feelin’ stuff. The lad’s more n’ fine. Gie him a minute or so.”

“Oh, uh, good to know.” Edér wasn’t entirely surprised to see Iselmyr peering up at him, but he felt awkward about it, given he currently had Aloth naked in his arms.

Iselmyr noticed, and smirked. Feeling devious, wanting to distract Edér, she subtly shifted under his hands into a more seductive pose, a finger caught coquettishly at the corner of her mouth. “Gonnae take yer turn nae?”

“If he’s feelin’ up to it,” Edér said, firmly, making it clear that he knew exactly who he wanted in his bed, though feeling guilty at the desire that lanced in him at seeing Aloth arranged like that.

Iselmyr chuckled, unoffended. “Ah, worth a try. Nye, he’s all yers. More’n ye conne.”

Aloth emerged as she finished speaking, hands flailing a bit to grip onto Edér’s arms and hold him there. “A-apologies. I was - ” He gasped for breath, tried to find his full voice. “That was... more intense than I had imagined.”

“You alright?” Edér repeated, worried.

Aloth’s eyes turned sharp, despite his breathlessness, holding Edér’s gaze captive to feel the weight of his words. “It was wonderful - you were wonderful. I... wasn’t expecting how that would feel. To… let go with another.”

He tugged at Edér, encouraging him to lay down against his chest, wanting to close the distance between them. The other man obliged him and it was just what he needed - a reassuring weight as he managed both the physical and emotional overload on his senses. Aloth kissed his forehead as his hands stroked down Edér’s back, through his hair, wherever he could to tell him without words how he was appreciated.

Edér hummed, a hand over Aloth’s heart. He could feel the heartbeat beneath him begin to slow, no longer trying to escape the man’s chest. He pulled back to search Aloth’s face for any further signs of distress, and was relieved to find a soft, relaxed smile.

“So despite that little moment back there. It was, uh. Good?” Edér ventured, hopefully. 

“Yes.” Aloth closed his eyes for a moment, committing how he felt to memory. Now his panic had subsided, there was nothing but bliss and raw affection, continually sweeping his fingers over Edér’s back, as if he could communicate it without words. But Edér deserved to hear it. “More than good. I didn’t expect - I mean - thank you.”

Edér smiled, lifting his head from where he’d been half-laying across Aloth, pushing himself up abruptly to sit on the edge of the bed. “Good. Not to be rude, but I really need these off.”

Aloth watched as Edér pulled off his breeches, and he sucked in a quick breath. From his vantage, he could see Edér was still fully hard, cock heavy and flushed between his thighs. The head swayed and bobbed as he moved, and Aloth’s fingers twitched with want to touch, despite that they still felt limp and useless, still wrung out by his recent release.

Edér lay heavily beside him on his back. “So, uh, few options, here. I can go away and take care of this myself -” he nodded downward: unnecessary, Aloth’s eyes were already there - “I can stay _here_ and take care of this myself, or… if you feel up to it, I’m open to anything you might like to do. But, uh. I really can’t wait too long for an answer,” he laughed, albeit shakily, one hand already skimming alongside his thigh. He was desperate to come, and it was not helping with Aloth looking at him like that. He would say yes to just about anything Aloth proposed.

Aloth considered the options seriously. There was a lot he might like to do, indeed, but he felt overwhelmed - in a good way, but _still_. “Stay here,” he decided aloud. He bit his lip when Edér groaned and let his hand drift to palm himself as if it had been a command.

“You were beautiful,” Edér told him, adjusting his grip so he could pull his fist up in one long, slow stroke, his foreskin fully engulfing the damp glans, making everything feel so much better on the slow drag back down. “Still are, but seein’ you like that…” his hand sped up, and he shivered a little himself. “Gods.”

Aloth licked his lips, trying to find the right words. He was still floating, even more so for being called beautiful in that sex-roughened voice. Though he was physically satiated, he still felt his heart beat faster, watching Edér chase his own pleasure, and knowing Edér was thinking about him. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t - haven’t - reciprocated,” he said, feeling a pang of guilt cut briefly through the afterglow. “I’ll make it up to you.”

The words were meant sincerely, but Edér didn’t miss the implication that Aloth meant doing this again. “Mmm, I’ve no doubt.” He snickered. “You’ve got about another, what, forty-fifty years’ worth pent-up in there? I’m pretty sure I’m gonna struggle to keep up with you.”

Aloth snorted, surprised into a laugh. “I’m quite sure that’s not how it works.”

“Aw, let a man dream.” Edér teased, and shivered at the brief, fanciful thought of an insatiable, demanding Aloth, before he let his eyes focus on the real one before him. It was so much better as imagination couldn’t conjure how he looked like this, expression still slightly glazed post-orgasm, hair let down in a very literal sense. Nor could he have imagined how Aloth was now watching him with fascination and desire. Edér grinned at him, albeit a bit more strained: he was starting to get breathless as pleasure licked through him.

Aloth noticed the change, too, and summoned the energy to roll onto his side, the better to be perhaps a more active participant. He leaned in close.

“We’ll see,” he murmured onto his lips before he kissed him, which Edér returned with enthusiasm… and a distinct taste that made Aloth heat to think about. He didn’t break it off; in for a copper, in for a pand. He loved that he could feel Edér huff as his breathing grew more and more uneven in their kiss, until Edér himself broke it off with a little grunt. His hand moved with enough speed and force that the mattress bounced lightly beneath them.

Aloth had no plan, he just wanted to help, wanted to _touch_. He placed a hand on one of Edér’s thighs, tracing upward towards his groin. He stopped short: he would butt Edér’s moving hand and he didn’t want to rudely interrupt. He looked at Edér questioningly.

“Did… did you want to…?” Edér panted, and with that, Aloth’s determination swelled. He nodded, and Edér slowed his hand and reluctantly released his grip, chest heaving with exertion. Aloth didn’t waste any time getting a hand on him. He could at least manage this - he definitely had a lot of practise at this particular activity, although not human-sized, feeling distinctly larger and somehow hotter in his fist. He discovered he had residual oil on his palm as he stroked upwards in one smooth glide, and Edér let out a deep groan beside him. The first few strokes were experimental more than anything else, finding the most comfortable angle for them both, and then he continued with the same strong rhythm Edér had found earlier.

“Gods, Aloth,” Edér gasped, letting his head fall back onto the pillow from where he’d been trying to watch. “Hnn, that’s good, keep goin’...”

Laid out before him, this powerful man, a solid wall of muscle, but helplessly squirming beneath his touch - Aloth felt a heady sense of power. He’d seen Edér smile, and laugh, and in pain, but never an expression like he was experiencing all of those things at once. Sweat sheened his body, and Aloth took the time to admire him in full, how his chest shuddered with its rise and fall, the flush that had descended from his face down his neck. He let his lips follow that path along his jawline to the tendons of his neck, determined to find that sensitive little place with his tongue that he had discovered with his fingers earlier. He knew he’d succeeded when Edér moaned, long and low, vibrating in his throat.

He was immersed in the feel and taste and the smell of fresh sweat, his masculine grunts and the odd verbalised encouragement, Edér’s voice blurred with pleasure. He had the vague thought that he should maybe verbalise how attractive he was like this, but he was simply too absorbed in making Edér flex and shudder, feeling his hips push up into his fist. 

He had been concentrating so hard that he had barely noticed his own arousal, and wound almost together as they were, there was no concealing matters as his cock stirred and thickened. He tensed. He didn’t know what to say or how to handle it, or how Edér would remark upon it.

Edér’s eyes had been closed, but feeling Aloth pressing into his hip, he opened them to look down the length of his body to see the evidence for himself. Well. He had been mostly joking earlier, but…

Aloth looked so uncertain, and he didn’t have the heart to tease, even playfully. He wanted that look gone.

“Up.” Edér suited his actions to words, stilling Aloth with a hand over his, and wrapping his arms around him to half-haul him onto his chest. “Up, on me, that’s it.”

The confident manhandling made Aloth shiver, Edér’s hands all over him as he was positioned until their hips were aligned, sitting up straddling the other man’s waist, thighs spread wide to accommodate his broad frame.

Edér’s eyes trailed down his body. Aloth had spent a lifetime trying not to be noticed, and here he was, exposed bare in the most compromising position he had ever been, and bizarrely, he felt no fear at all, only a fierce desire to be worth what Edér saw. Edér’s lips tugged into an approving smile when he looked back up.

“Don’t you look a picture.” Edér’s voice was an easy rumble, a hand sliding down and wrapping easily around the both of them. He loved how it made Aloth’s eyelids flutter with surprise pleasure. He lazily stroked them both, despite the dissatisfied ache in his body, denying it for the sake of watching Aloth slowly come undone above him - well worth the effort of restraint as Aloth began to lose his, hips beginning to push into his hand, seeking more.

“Mm, keep doin’ that,” Edér instructed with a smile, releasing them both and settling back, the better to watch.

Aloth shivered, understanding what was asked, though briefly self-conscious for it. The feeling dissolved as he obeyed. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to rock his hips, Edér’s cock pressed hot and slightly wet against his own, sending sparks through him where their flesh met. The pull was irresistible. It felt so good that he let his hips rotate into him again. And again. 

“That’s it,” Edér growled in encouragement, admiring the sight of Aloth astride him. He loved the intensely serious expression of exertion on his face, the way his body undulated as instinct took over. No one else got to see this carnal side of Aloth, stripped of all his defenses. No one else got to see beyond the good manners and books and reticence. He set both of his hands on Aloth’s thighs to act as an anchor as he pushed up against him, wanting more of that friction. 

Aloth gasped, not expecting it, and had barely recovered when Edér did it again. It tore a moan from him that Edér answered with one of his own. It took a few more passes for them to sync into rhythm, but from then on, it was perfect friction, hot and messy.

Their height difference meant they couldn’t kiss in this position, but they found other ways to communicate their affection. Edér’s fingers swept over Aloth’s back, sometimes combing through his long hair. Aloth let Edér take his weight so he could press his mouth against the broad expanse of his chest, his fingers lightly trailing through the short and pale hair. He dared to kiss and lick at one nipple, and he felt the hand in his hair tighten, Edér’s breathing turning louder. He was getting close, and Aloth wanted to push him over the edge. In a calculated stretch, he fastened his lips back onto the side of his neck.

“Oh, gods, Aloth…” Edér’s voice was long and low, edged with desperation. His grip suddenly shifted from the backs of his thighs to grab onto his backside, taking control of the pace, and Aloth gasped, too aroused to feel outraged by the loss of control, and somehow even more turned-on by it.

Then Edér was coming, holding on tightly to Aloth like he might bolt, shuddering beneath him. The sensations of being held so possessively and the feel of sliding against the hot, slick mess crashed together, and Aloth followed him helplessly moments after. His second orgasm ripped through him with the devastation of a Biawac, leaving him slumped limply into Edér’s arms.

After a long minute passed, Edér chuckled, dislodging Aloth from his chest. “You know, of all people, I never figured you’d be loud.”

It took a moment for the words to make sense in his haze, and for Aloth to sit up, aghast. “I was not.”

“Mm-hm,” Edér said agreeably, while still looking incredibly smug.

“I like to keep some things private, and these walls are not sound-proof.”

“Sure.”

“I was no worse than you.”

“I ain’t denyin’ it.” Edér grinned all the wider. “ _Damn_ , Aloth.”

While his insides glowed for the implied praise, Aloth chose to answer by a dramatic roll of his eyes. He sat up properly and stretched, feeling pleasantly sore, but also like he was in desperate need of his comb and a washcloth. He looked down at himself and Edér and grimaced.

Edér sat up after him and kissed him, slow and with surprising tenderness. Aloth had the inkling he was being distracted, but found he didn’t care, and he melted into it. When Edér pulled back, he looked every bit satisfied at having wiped the frown from Aloth’s face. “I’ll take care of it.”

Aloth reclined into the warm spot that Edér vacated, and watched the other man, quietly envying how comfortable he was in his nudity. The light from the fire highlighted every dip and swell of muscle. It was strange to want him as intensely as he did, even while feeling like he was incapable of doing anything again anytime soon.

Again. Now there was a strange thought.

In Aedyr, there would be eyebrows raised and aspersions cast for how casual their arrangement was. Not a “real” relationship by custom, and yet he had cast away his virtue to it. He hated thinking about his experience in those terms. Years of travel showed other cultures of Eora did not place such a high regard on remaining chaste, and rationally, he saw that was a much more relaxed way to be. Yet the thinking remained. Part of him felt like he had done something terribly disobedient.

Part of him felt like he had obtained something very dear.

Edér returned to bed with a damp washcloth. Aloth had expected him to continue to look smug - deservedly so - but his gaze was soft, boyish, almost shy as he efficiently wiped them both clean, and then dry with the towel. Before Aloth could begin to feel awkward, Edér lay beside him and scooped him up sideways into a loose embrace, back against his chest. Aloth tensed - he had never been held like this before - but soon relaxed into it, understanding he was allowed to lay back against Edér in this configuration. Edér’s hands felt warm, soothing where they rested against his skin.

“Mm. Shoulda warned you, I’m not much good at pillow talk,” Edér mumbled at the back of his ear. “Get a little slow n’ sleepy.”

“So no different from normal, then.” Aloth couldn’t help himself.

“See you’ve recovered already.” Edér’s voice was warm and amused. “But if you’re after another round, I might need a nap first.”

Aloth huffed. He’d expected the quip at some point, and ignored the way his blood thrummed at the hint of more. He wasn’t that young anymore. “Well. I do believe I owe you one. So to speak.”

Edér’s nuzzling against the back of his neck suggested he was either no longer invested in the conversation, or he’d just been distracted by being able to cuddle into something soft. Or, as he had just said, he was feeling sleepy.

Aloth wanted to say a lot of things while he felt brave, but the longer he tried to find the words, the more he could feel Edér slacken around him, breathing turning gentle and even.

He slipped a hand beneath Edér’s, and brought it up to his lips, as if the kiss he pressed there could impart all his whispered secrets for him.

 _Ye needn’t fret there, lad. Nowt fer ‘im to hearken when ‘e already has the conne of it_.

Aloth wasn’t so sure, but it was reassuring to believe.

 _And how he is wit ye_ , Iselmyr pressed. Aloth understood what she was getting at. He thought it over. It was safe to say to her, and only her.

 _Yes. I believe he does_.

Aloth took the hand he held and lay it close to his heart, and let himself be comforted by his own answer. It was more than enough for him.


End file.
